Looking forward to 2009!!!

I always do this. Yearly as in. As if I could keep up all the times that I failed/succeeded with my New Years resolution. But this is time I want it to be different and do something that I can achieve but with great impact. As if it's like..."less force, more impact"

1. I want to do something that I've never done before.
It's been my dream to do exciting stuff in this lifetime. As of this moment, I only wanted to do three things, and when I'm through with it, I'll plan three more. YES! First, I want to do bungee jumping. Ever since I saw the one of the movie specials from National Geographic channel, I've wanted to do it. I've received comments about me, my weight and the rope not capable of carrying me. Ha-ha! Second, I want to do sky diving. Even just once! It's like something that I'm not sure I will have the guts to do but I've been wanting to do all this time. Third, is scuba diving. I love the life under the sea. It's so amazing to see and imagine being there. I've tried snorkeling, and if I can borrow Edward's line from the movie Twilight, "it's like a tofu, but it I'll never be fully satisfied."

2. Learn to play musical keyboard and give Alex a CD with me playing.
He gave me this casio musical keyboard yearssss ago and still I have not learned how to play it. I tried to self study but time is against me. If I wanted to give the CD as my anniversary gift to Alex, I will do it. Even to enroll in music class. Courage and time management!!!

3. Be accountable to my friends and people.
I feel like I'm not that accountable to my friends. Sometimes, I set myself invisible in YM.
(sorry guys...) See? But that's when I'm at work. Tsk! Tsk! Tsk! Bad Ruthie... So this time, I'm always available, but my status now is either Kain Muna or Blogging All Along...hehehe

4. Go to places I've never been to.
I often do this, almost every year. At least once. I go to place/s I've never been to with my friends from L2S_MOC. I hope this year we will go to Caramoan Island in Camarines Sur. But how about out-of-the country stuff?!

5. Loose 20-30 lbs this year.
Now this is something I have to really work on. No extra rice when eating. I'll try to do this gradually. Attend exercise classes and no more excuses.

6. Diligently attend church service.
This is something for my soul. But since I failed to attend consecutive Sundays of the week, I was having a hard time going back. I'm shy to my cell leader and to HIM. But I'll try to go back soon!

7. Avoid complaining about life and love...and sex. Except work to my boss (it's my revenge!)
I hate grouchy people, but I can't help being one. I'll try my best not to and act instead of grouching except when it comes to work and my boss. I somehow feels good when I do that to my boss. There's a fulfillment in a different...weird way. You know!

8. Be a more loving daughter, sister and girlfriend.
There's nothing wrong when you're always loving more. The world needs it! All it needs is LOVE.

9. Will not miss birthdays of my friends and love ones.
I hate this part of my weakness. I tend to forget birthdays. I really hate it. Solution? To have a reminder, either on the Calendar or Outlook.

10. Earn more. Spend less.
Hey! I've been doing this since I can't remember when...but sometimes I tend to spend more than I earn. Should I give examples? Hahaha. I know people close to me will tell me that I deserve it. Do I?

11. Learn how to swim and drive.
It's more for survival than anything else...

12. Get married?
This is something beyond my powers...

Hazy Dream

I've dreamt of him again last night. Yes, it's something wonderful and great; and no it's not something like Stephanie Meyer's dream that lead her in writing the Twilight Saga. It's just a simple and selfish dream of mine. All mine.

Now, how can I share this dream without sounding so pornoic (if there's such a word)? So let's just say that I'm in the middle of a dreamless sleep and I don't know why I dreamt of him and the fact that that we are making love. We are in the middle of this passionate sex. We're both sweaty and panting heavily. We cannot stop touching each other and continously kissing very hard. You can see clearly from our faces that we are having the time of our lives. The picture that we created is something that everyone would envy. I, even envied myself.

Then abruptly I saw myself somehow changed but still lying in my back, still sweaty, still panting, still with flustered face, but no, I'm not with him anymore. I'm doing differently.

Very different. I'm giving birth to a baby...

My dream is so vivid. I can see his face, the raw emotion, the twinkle in his eyes. I can taste his sweat. I can feel his touch, his kiss, and his warmth. The intensity of it surprised me. I really thought I was real, that I was with him and I even wanted to see our baby...my baby.

When I woke up, I've realized two things. First, I'm ready to step up my relationship with Alex, and second, I'm ready to have a baby.

The Smile Stone Award from Al

Thanks to Al for giving me the "The Smile Stone Award". This award can be granted to bloggers who shows kindness and spreads happiness all around.

And here's the ten simple things that could brighten up my day that I usually ignore:
1. Waking up in the morning and feeling light headed for no particular reason.
2. Able to see movies that I like in the cinema (recently, Twilight).
3. No bad hair days.
4. Drinking coffee at least two cups a day.
5. Able to find time to post a blog.
6. Able to find inspiration to take a shot/picture.
7. Reading jokes from emails or SMS.
8. Smell of new books from bookstores.
9. In a weird way, the smell of gasoline when everytime we refuel.
10. Seeing my family together, whether they're happy or sad, for as long as their together...I'm happy.

So, I'm awarding the Smile Stone Award to:
Malen | Aimz | Liz | Sherlie | Aila

exasperated subordinate

I'm so stressed right now, as in mega stress!

My feet is cold, my stomach is aching and my nape is pulsating with tension.

I want to shout from the top of my lungs!

AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

- - -

Honestly, she's a good person. At most times, she tries to be righteous and fair. She's strict and funny...often times. She's not like the female boss of James McAvoy in the movie Wanted. She's not like that, not that way. She simply knows where to hit you..hard and full-time! I just don't know what to do with her. Sometimes I feel like I want to kick her, sometimes I feel like I want to hug her and be a friend that I know I could be.

Hayyy....

Happy Birthday to My Mama!

When I saw my Ate Karen's post about my mom's birthday I got teary eyed for everything she had written is true and true all the way. And in my next life, if God will give me the chance to select my parent, a mother who would love me the best and take care of me, I will only choose my Mama because she's the best there is and of course my dad too! If you don't know the meaning of loving unconditionally, she could even explain and show it to you...just look at how she loves us all (her kids) unconditionally.

Ma, I love you... Please take care of your health for us, ok? I'm praying that you'll have more birthdays to come. You're the best! Love you!

random blurps

I'm supposed to be listening…
I'm supposed to be proactive…
I'm supposed to answer questions…
I'm supposed to be here….

BUT I am not…

My ears are plugged into the earphone listening to Eraserhead's Hey Jay…
I'm just staying passive to everything that's happening around me…
But I have no idea of anything…
I'm not here…

Tonight is the last night of our training for the new account called Perimeter.  I'm not sure if I'm allowed to say this, but I already did. I'm so bored.  I wish that I'm back on our QA room and either watching Smallville Season 8-Episode 3 or High School Musical Movie1, all downloaded by my new friend JB.  By the way, he's a Smallville fanatic too…

I got to share this…imagine, this is the second entry that I have for this blog but you'll be surprised to know that I have a Page Rank of 3 by just having one entry posted ever! And I'm not sure how it happened.  Hey don't get me wrong; I'm not complaining at allNot at all...Just wondering and wishing that all my blogs have at least a Page Rank of 1 or more.

Eniways, back to work….

To My Mamita

To My Mamita:

If I have any regrets, it was the fact that I did not allow myself to be honest to you and tell you what I feel when I was younger. Edi sana we we’re closer before pa and shared so many things. I just discovered the joy of your company and now, I believe in the saying that people tends to understand their parents as they become one. But in my case, I’m not yet a parent but I know that I’ve matured enough to understand and appreciate you more.

Hands down ako sayo Ma. You are the best and you are the love of my life. I pray to God that He will give you the blessing of healing. May He allow us to show you more of our appreciation and love as no one can replace you in our hearts. Please take care of yourself. Mahal ka namin.