Identity Courage not Crisis

When I've heard that Rustom Padilla, a former heartthrob of Philippine Cinema got his new identity as Bebe Gandanghari, I want to admit that he got me impressed with his courage to stand for what he truly is and for what he truly wants. It's not easy to accept your true self if everything around you is hindering you from doing otherwise.

What I wanted to know from Rustom is, I mean Bebe (pronounced as Bibi) on how he did it. From accepting himself and showing to the people the 'true' him. I also wanted to know what are the reactions of his family, specially his brothers and his mother. And most importantly, I wanted to know if he's happy right now...if he found the happiness he's longing / looking for.

As for me, what he have is not an identity crisis, no it isn't, not at all, it is an identity courage. Believing and loving yourself. The spirit to improve yourself and make changes happen. You only have one life to live. Be happy.

losing my fangs

Why do I feel like I'm being bullied? Am I loosing my back bone? Why do I feel like as if even my friends are bullying me? Am I losing my confidence? Do I need to show my fangs more? I know I'm not like this before. I hate this feeling…It's not me. This is bothering me for quite sometime now, somehow I feel like I've to change something inside me immediately. As in now!

What to do? What to do?

Or I'm back to being my paranoic self and imagining things again?

Midnight Sun

I've recently read the Midnight Sun by Stephanie Meyers and I love it. It's like reading another book entirely different from Twilight but somehow it's the same, if you know what I mean?

I think Midnight Sun is a lot better than Twilight. Why? Because it was seen from a mature, creative, gentleman and a way more frustrated (than Bella) view of Edward. That makes this book entirely better. I just wish that Stephanie will continue writing and finish Midnight Sun. For sure it will be a hit!

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

"Life isn't measured in minutes, but in moments."

I love the tag line of the latest movie from my ex-boyfriend Brad Pitt, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. The recent movie that I've seen and the latest movie that impressed me. From the end credits, it says there that the movie was and adaptation of a short story by a guy named F. Scott Fitzgerald. And this short story is about a man who was born in his eighties and ages backwards.

The movie started with this wrinkled old lady lying on the her deathbed and was with her daughter whom she asked to read a diary from a man called Benjamin Button. The story then started when a baby was born who liked like he was in his 80's at the end of World War I, in 1918. Then the story follows as how we see Benjamin's (Brad Pitt) life unfolds, as what he wrote in his diary and later on as what Daisy (Cate Blanchett) recalled on his later life up to his death.

I will not put any spoiler in this post, I just want to share what I felt after seeing the movie.

It made me realized that nothing really lasts and that you have to make sure that you make most of what you have, or you don't have. Make every second of your life counts. Treasure your loved ones. Be happy. Be contented. Love as if you have not yet loved. Be loved in return. Live life to the fullest.

As for the movie/actor: Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett's chemistry on this movie is amazing. No wonder my younger sister commented that it's lucky that he did not have an affair with the actress (referring to Angelina Jolie from Mr & Mrs Smith when he was still Jennifer Aniston). It was funny in a way that she said it. All of the actors in this movie shined in every line they delivered. Great screenplay and great directing. I love the cinematography and the texture of the movie. The makeup people did a very outstanding job. Now, I know how will Brad Pitt will look like when he was older. :P And look at how they made him into this tiny little old man, crunched in his wheel chair, I wonder how much did they have to spend doing all of the CGIs. It was really very good. The movie score is something very notable too. Very good. The length of the movie (nearly three hours) is something that fits the movie. If it's shorter, I would have felt lacking...so it's just right.

After watching the movie, I felt like I want to google Benjamin Button's images from Google HOSTED Life to check if there's really someone like him and then see him age younger every year. You'll never know, maybe this story's based from a true life...

Looking forward to 2009!!!

I always do this. Yearly as in. As if I could keep up all the times that I failed/succeeded with my New Years resolution. But this is time I want it to be different and do something that I can achieve but with great impact. As if it's like..."less force, more impact"

1. I want to do something that I've never done before.
It's been my dream to do exciting stuff in this lifetime. As of this moment, I only wanted to do three things, and when I'm through with it, I'll plan three more. YES! First, I want to do bungee jumping. Ever since I saw the one of the movie specials from National Geographic channel, I've wanted to do it. I've received comments about me, my weight and the rope not capable of carrying me. Ha-ha! Second, I want to do sky diving. Even just once! It's like something that I'm not sure I will have the guts to do but I've been wanting to do all this time. Third, is scuba diving. I love the life under the sea. It's so amazing to see and imagine being there. I've tried snorkeling, and if I can borrow Edward's line from the movie Twilight, "it's like a tofu, but it I'll never be fully satisfied."

2. Learn to play musical keyboard and give Alex a CD with me playing.
He gave me this casio musical keyboard yearssss ago and still I have not learned how to play it. I tried to self study but time is against me. If I wanted to give the CD as my anniversary gift to Alex, I will do it. Even to enroll in music class. Courage and time management!!!

3. Be accountable to my friends and people.
I feel like I'm not that accountable to my friends. Sometimes, I set myself invisible in YM.
(sorry guys...) See? But that's when I'm at work. Tsk! Tsk! Tsk! Bad Ruthie... So this time, I'm always available, but my status now is either Kain Muna or Blogging All Along...hehehe

4. Go to places I've never been to.
I often do this, almost every year. At least once. I go to place/s I've never been to with my friends from L2S_MOC. I hope this year we will go to Caramoan Island in Camarines Sur. But how about out-of-the country stuff?!

5. Loose 20-30 lbs this year.
Now this is something I have to really work on. No extra rice when eating. I'll try to do this gradually. Attend exercise classes and no more excuses.

6. Diligently attend church service.
This is something for my soul. But since I failed to attend consecutive Sundays of the week, I was having a hard time going back. I'm shy to my cell leader and to HIM. But I'll try to go back soon!

7. Avoid complaining about life and love...and sex. Except work to my boss (it's my revenge!)
I hate grouchy people, but I can't help being one. I'll try my best not to and act instead of grouching except when it comes to work and my boss. I somehow feels good when I do that to my boss. There's a fulfillment in a different...weird way. You know!

8. Be a more loving daughter, sister and girlfriend.
There's nothing wrong when you're always loving more. The world needs it! All it needs is LOVE.

9. Will not miss birthdays of my friends and love ones.
I hate this part of my weakness. I tend to forget birthdays. I really hate it. Solution? To have a reminder, either on the Calendar or Outlook.

10. Earn more. Spend less.
Hey! I've been doing this since I can't remember when...but sometimes I tend to spend more than I earn. Should I give examples? Hahaha. I know people close to me will tell me that I deserve it. Do I?

11. Learn how to swim and drive.
It's more for survival than anything else...

12. Get married?
This is something beyond my powers...